As the New Year approaches, goal setting tends to follow a familiar pattern.
Stop drinking.
Stop eating sugar.
Stop being inconsistent.
Stop letting myself go.
On paper, these goals sound sensible. Disciplined, even.
In practice, they often fail.
Not because people don’t want change—but because removal-based goals create the exact mindset that makes change harder.
The Problem With “Stop Doing” Goals
Goals built around stopping, cutting out, or removing things are rooted in restriction.
Restriction triggers scarcity.
Scarcity creates a sense of missing out.
And the moment we feel deprived, our attention narrows to the very thing we’re trying to avoid.
Tell yourself “I’m not drinking” and suddenly alcohol is everywhere.
Tell yourself “I can’t eat that” and it becomes the most appealing option in the room.
This isn’t a willpower issue.
It’s human psychology.
When goals are framed as loss, the brain pushes back.
Restriction Creates Wanting, Not Change
Removal-based goals keep us in a constant state of resistance.
You’re not moving towards something—you’re fighting against something.
And fighting is exhausting.
This is why people often feel:
- Irritable
- Deprived
- “Off track” after one slip
- Like they’re failing, even when they’re making progress
The focus stays on what’s missing, not what’s being built.
A Better Question to Ask
Instead of asking:
“What do I need to stop doing this year?”
Ask:
“What can I add that naturally improves everything else?”
This subtle shift changes everything.
Because addition creates abundance.
And abundance feels supportive, not punishing.
What “Additive” Goals Look Like
Additive goals focus on building, not restricting.
They introduce behaviours that crowd out the ones you want less of—without constant resistance.
For example:
Instead of
❌ “Stop drinking alcohol”
Try
✅ “Add three alcohol-free nights per week”
Instead of
❌ “Stop eating junk food”
Try
✅ “Add a protein-rich meal at lunch every day”
Instead of
❌ “Stop skipping workouts”
Try
✅ “Add two short, non-negotiable training sessions per week”
The difference isn’t semantics.
It’s psychology.
Why Adding Works
When you add something:
- You gain capability
- You gain structure
- You gain evidence that you’re changing
Addition creates momentum.
It also subtly reshapes identity.
You’re no longer someone trying to quit bad habits.
You’re someone building good ones.
And behaviour follows identity.
Addition Changes How Progress Feels
Additive goals reduce the emotional charge around “slip-ups.”
If you miss a workout, you haven’t “failed.”
You’ve simply missed one opportunity to add something positive.
There’s no moral judgement.
No spiral.
Just the next chance to add again.
This makes consistency far more likely.
The Abundance Mindset in Health and Fitness
An abundance mindset doesn’t mean excess.
It means focusing on:
- What supports you
- What gives you energy
- What builds capacity over time
When you add:
- Movement
- Sleep
- Protein
- Water
- Steps
- Recovery
- Structure
Many of the things you want less of naturally reduce.
Not through force.
But through displacement.
How to Set Better Goals This Year
Before you set your goals, pause and ask:
- What behaviours would make my life easier?
- What can I add that supports my health rather than battles it?
- What would a calmer, more capable version of me repeat weekly?
Start there.
Choose goals that feel like investment, not punishment.
Because the most sustainable changes aren’t built on what you remove from your life.
They’re built on what you consistently add.
And over time, those additions don’t just change your habits.
They change how you see yourself.
